I'm Not As Gone As You Think
by Dragon's-Dreams
Summary: Sirius is gone! GONE FOREVER! Hermione can’t take it! She is so depressed she may do the unthinkable! (spoilers: 1-5)
1. He's Truly Gone

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. J.K. Rowling owns everything. I'm just a speck of dirt compared to her. Blah! Blah! BLAH! I'm just nothing at all!  
  
Name: I'm Not As Gone as You Think  
  
Censor: PG-13 (If you're under thirteen like me keep reading and don't tell your parents even though mine let me watch R rated movies! I'm SUPERIOR TO ALL MWAHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
Summery: Sirius is gone! GONE FOREVER!! Hermione can't take it! She is so depressed she may do the unthinkable! (spoilers: 1-5)  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Hermione was getting so depressed when she heard that Wormtail had been caught and if Sirius were alive his name would have been cleared. But he was gone! Dead and never ever coming back! Just thinking about what he would be like now made her burst out in tears. Why did he have to die! He was an innocent person! That Lastrange woman should have not killed her own cousin! If I ever see her I will kill her, she thought in tears, shaking uncontrollably in her bed at 12 Grimauld Place. A muscular arm wrapped around her. Hermione lifted her face to see two emerald green eyes gazing into hers, filled with concern.  
  
" 'Mione, 'Mione everything is going to be ok! Don't cry! Please 'Mione! I'll always be with you! Don't worry!" Harry's voice was mature and kind. He kissed Hermione's head, whispering words of comfort to her. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, she slipped her arms around harry pulling him closer to her. Her head on his shoulder, pouring out all of the emotion inside her.  
  
"He's gone! He's gone! All the untold things I wanted to tell him! O, Sirius please come back or I swear I'll kill myself!"  
  
"Hermione, you shouldn't say that...stop acting like you think you're only that. 'Cause I know that your the most amazing person I know. I love you, and it'll eat you inside out. I need you now! Now that he's gone, you're one of the only people left..."  
  
"NO! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL! NO ONE DOES! AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME! I'M JUST HERMIONE, THE CRYING, WHIMPY NO-IT-ALL!" She ran away, tears flying through the air, leaving a frustrated Harry.  
  
"Why does she do that! I just can't figure out girls! Hermione! Hermione! COME BACK NOW!!!!!!! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!!!!" he yelled to only hear whimpers coming from upstairs. Harry ran up the creaky old stairs to his own room. He looked through the door to see Hermione curled up in a ball. She was rocking back and forth.  
He's gone. I guess I'll just kill myself to be with him! It shouldn't be too bad? Should it! Why did I have to be unconscious when he died! I could have stopped it from happening! It's all my fault!  
  
"Herm! Stop hurting yourself! You're one of the only people I have left to love! I can't have another to go! I love you too much!"  
  
"Stop treating me like a child! Just leave me ALONE! ALONE I SAY! JUST GO AND NEVER BOTHER ME AGAIN! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYONE NOW! LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING ANY MORE! JUST GO!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~@ An @~  
  
It's so sad! I love stories like this! Harry and Hermione seem to have switched roles! Now she is the one who needs a m!!!! Sry it's short I need it to be if u no what I mean!  
  
Siriusis4ever 


	2. Hogwarts Brings Big Dreams

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. J.K. Rowling owns everything. I'm just a speck of dirt compared to her. Blah! Blah! BLAH! I'm just nothing at all!  
  
Name: I'm Not As Gone as You Think  
  
Censor: PG-13 (If you're under thirteen like me keep reading and don't tell your parents even though mine let me watch R rated movies! I'm SUPERIOR TO ALL MWAHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
Summery: Sirius is gone! GONE FOREVER!! Hermione can't take it! She is so depressed she may do the unthinkable! (spoilers: 1-5)  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
** At Hogwarts**  
  
Hermione's eyes were still stinging from crying at the sorting. McGonagall was holding the sorting hat over a small stool. The hat looked more worn than usual.  
  
"When I call out your name you will come up to the stool. The hat will be placed upon your head and it will sort you into your house." McGonagall's voice spread all over the great hall.  
  
"Alador, Ben"  
  
"SLYTHERIN"  
  
"Bane, Laura"  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF!"  
  
"Barkly, Sirius" Hermione gave a whimper at the name and started to shed silent tears. Why, o, why me! Ron tried to comfort her, but it was no use. The first year looked oddly like Sirius.  
  
"GRYFFINDOR" Hermione collapsed on the table into a nervous wreck. She didn't notice the time going by. Her thoughts were completely on Sirius (Black) and Sirius alone. The food was on the golden plates when she lifted her head. Ron's arm was around her. It felt so warm unlike her own body. Hermione started to chew, not noticing what she was eating. Nothing mattered to her anymore.  
  
Hermione glanced up at the staff table to see Dumbledore with a look of concern on his face. Remus sat between McGonagall and Snape. Snape had a look of sheer loathing on his face. She couldn't stand looking at Remus, he reminded her too much of Sirius. Why did everything have to remind her of Sirius? She looked up at the bewitched sky to see Canis Major, the dog constellation, to just see the star Sirius.  
  
It's just a star. One of the brightest stars in fact! Not Sirius! It's called Caniculus, Dog Star, Aschere, HR 2419, and HD 48195. Wow I know that. If only I could tell Sirius! O DON'T THINK ABOUT SIRIUS! Hermione mentally kicked herself. She looked down at her food to see the worst combinations of food, which included macaroni and cheese, M&Ms with a few rashers of bacon, but Hermione didn't give a damn about that.  
  
Ron grabbed her by the arm and dragged her off because she was zoning out and didn't notice that they could leave. She suddenly realized what was happening and got on her own feet. Hermione didn't see Draco Malfoy look at her in an odd way. Neither did she notice the pictures asking if she was all right and that she should get some sleep. Hermione just didn't care.  
  
They finally reached the common room, when Ron pushed her towards the stairs and said, "Go, Hermie. Get some sleep, you need it! See you in the morning!" In response to this she walked up the stairs like a zombie and got into her four-poster bed.  
  
Ron told her to get sleep, but that was useless. Her dreams were riddled with memories of Sirius.  
  
Dream Sequence  
  
Hermione was standing in the library looking into a pair of warm violet-brown eyes. They were filled with warm and comforting feelings. The face they belonged to was happy and had a soft smile on. The man had long velvety, black hair which fell around his face in a lusciously elegant way. His square jaw was perfect and his lips were handsome. His nose was perfectly in the center.  
  
The man's hands grasped her waist firmly; Hermione's own hands were in his beautiful hair. He was pulling them closer together, finally bringing their lips together in a passionate yet gentle kiss. His tongue finding its way into her mouth massaging her mouth. When they finally broke apart, they gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
"Hermione, I'll love you forever. I'm not as gone as you think," the man whispered into her ear, her insides melting.  
  
End of Dream Sequence  
  
Hermione woke up with a start, realizing she had just dreamt about a drop-dead gorgeous man. She thought a while about her dream, with a look of perplexity on her face. That man was Sirius! What did he mean by I'm not as gone as you think? If only that was true! She began to cry at the very thought of Sirius. She gazed out of the window and saw Crookshanks and a great black shadow streak across the dewy lawn.  
  
~ AN ~  
  
Do u like! Next chappie coming up maybe tonight! Please rr.  
Siriusis4ever 


	3. Draco Malfoy

Title: I'm Not as Gone as You Think  
  
Censor: PG-13  
  
Chapter 3: Draco Malfoy  
  
Hermione had gone a few days without any terrible outbreaks of crying. Malfoy knew what was bothering her. He wanted to make it worse. He'd tell her about Bellatrix Lestrange and how they knew each other very well. It was the perfect plan. The evening had just begun and dinner was served. Dumbledore was happier than usual, probably at the sight of Hermione not crying. Malfoy couldn't wait any longer. He got up from his table to go ruin her day.  
  
"Can I have a word with you, you filthy mudblood?" Malfoy asked politely, but rubbed in the 'filthy mudblood'. Her eyes searched his body. His hand was clenched around his wand that resided in his pocket, making a bulge in his robes. His Slytherin robes hung loosely off his shoulders. Hermione thought about her reply.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Nothing more than a mere chat." That was a complete lie. His eyes gleamed as he said it.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What do you want, moron?!?"  
  
"So... have you seen any of the Lestranges lately? Bellatrix and I were very good friends! Now she's in Azkaban, but she'll get out!"  
  
"SHUT THE F*** UP WILL YOU?????" The teachers were surprised at this sudden outburst of cursing coming from their best student.  
  
"No I don't think I will! Black is never, yes NEVER, coming back and you and I know it!"  
  
"I HATE YOU!!! YOU'RE SUCH AN EVIL BASTARD!!!" Hermione slapped him across his face, leaving a large red mark. His hand shot up and rubbed the mark, wincing in pain. She started to leave, but he wouldn't let her. The teachers were still in shock from the language.  
  
"OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!! EXPELLIARMUS!!" Malfoy bellowed.  
  
Hermione went flying towards one of the enormous walls. She hit it with a sickening crunch and slid down onto the floor. Blood was trickling down her face. Everyone sat there in silence for a few minutes, waiting for her to do something. Her eyes were getting wider and angrier at the second.  
  
Malfoy stood there and smirked. He glanced up at the staff table, who looked very disturbed. Next he looked towards the Slytherins who all had nasty grins on. They looked very happy at what he did with the 'mudblood know-it-all'.  
  
Hermione finally decided to move. She got up and looked Malfoy straight in the eyes. Her glare was her 'death gaze'. It could probably kill a Death Eater in one shot. Malfoy just smirked back at her. Her thoughts jumped to Sirius. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She tried to blink them back, but one escaped. It glided down her cheek and splashed on the floor. It was so silent you could hear it falling. Soon many of them came down like rain.  
  
Hermione ran out the Great Hall doors. She bolted up the stairs to the library. She knew no one would be there. Paintings watched her run by without even a hello. She made it to the library, tears still streaming down. Naturally, she went to her favorite isle, History. She sat at a musty table, as her emotions poured out of her.  
  
She felt a strong muscular arm pull her to someone. He was fit and warm. Hermione snuggled into his soft chest as his arms were wrapped around her. She wanted to ask whom the man was, but she was too comfortable to actually do it.  
  
~A/n~  
  
O! The suspense is killing me! Hehe. =P. Who is it? Why is it? Where is it? What is it? When is it? The five W's!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Siriusis4ever 


	4. Forever

Disclaimer: I'm just a little piece o'shit compared to JKR... I don't own anything! **tear**  
  
A/n. I truly don't know what will happen, but I'm sure on one thing! Sirius is cool! Now on with the show... I mean story.  
  
~Chapter 4~  
  
She felt a strong muscular arm pull her to someone. He was fit and warm. Hermione snuggled into his soft chest as his arms were wrapped around her. She wanted to ask whom the man was, but she was too comfortable to actually do it.  
  
~*~  
  
She lifted her tearstained face. Hermione saw something familiar in the eyes of the man, strange glow that warmed her insides. She had seen him before. His hair was matted and dirty, yet it fell elegantly around his face. The man looked into her eyes with a comforting gaze.  
  
"Hermione, I'm here for you."  
  
"Sirius?" The man smiled softly. Hermione looked at him painfully, but with a spark of hope in her eyes.  
  
"Yes, Hermione. I am back..." he whispered.  
  
"Oh, Sirius. I've been worrying and pining over you for such..." Her pleating words were cut off by the man's index finger upon her lips, as if to tell her to hush.  
  
"I can not let anyone know I am here. They would surely kill me."  
  
"But..." Once again was she cut off, this time by a strong embrace. She felt pecks against her head. He had a six-pack. He must have been working hard to stay undercover, she thought amusingly. He then sat on the old chair that Hermione had sat in only a few minutes later.  
  
"Hush, my dear. I have much to tell you, but I have to go."  
  
"Wait, Sirius. I have to ask how you came back? You died..."  
  
"I might as well died. I was 'transported' into something called a 'death room'. There were carcasses all around. Skeletons and blood littered the floor," he grimaced at the memory, "The magic around the room was so powerful it stopped the innocent from dying; sadly most there had definitely been guilty. In most magic there is a flaw. I spent time looking amongst the bodies. After a long while I found it. Something as simple as a loose stone. Only, it was very small. I had become thin; I had been living off of insects I found. I finally got out. I wandered the country as a stray. Nice muggles gave me food and a home. It was the only way I could survive."  
  
Hermione gasped and looked up him with pity in her eyes. His eyes turned towards hers. He gazed into the depths of her chocolate brown eyes. She in turn melted in his violet-brown orbs. He snaked his hands down over every curve of her mature body. They finally grasped her flawless waist. Her hands were locked around his strong neck. He brought her slowly towards himself. She grasped his bottom lip in her own. He opened his mouth and traced the outline of her upper lip. Their souls and minds melted into one in this mere connection of mouths. Hermione had never felt anything like it. Sirius had once before experienced bliss such as this, but he could barely remember it. Finally, he broke their kiss.  
  
"I will love you for ever, Hermione... I'm not as gone as you think I am." And with those words he left. His robes billowing behind him. Sirius transfigured into a shaggy dog and bounded off. Hermione, still confused, made her way through the dark corridors back to her common room. She saw a dark shadow pass by once or twice. She tried to ignore the feeling of strange paranoia that was emanating from her surroundings.  
  
"Miss Granger. Students such as you should not be wandering the hallways late at night. One hundred points from Gryffindor and a weeks worth of detention with me. Now go back to your bloody room before I take off any more points!" 


End file.
